I took this online screening for depression recently posted by depressioncomix and this was my result.
"You are not alone." Yeah, I’m gonna call bullshit on that one. You know what happens when a trans person (which I am) calls a depression hotline? They get hung up on.
The only time when people actually care about depression is when famous people die from it and it winds up in the news cycle for 72 hours. The rest of the time it’s like “Dep… derp… uhhh… What’s on telly right now?”
Yes. I am alone. Don’t try and placate me with fuckery like “you’re not alone” or the insidious “it gets better”. It doesn’t get better. The world has taught me that if I can’t resolve my depression entirely on my own, then I must simply be doing it for attention. The world has taught me that victims of suicide are selfish motherfuckers who only care about ending their own pain rather than enduring crippling despair so that others can enjoy their presence and not have to think about depression and death and stuff.
Depression is treated like an imaginary disease that prima donnas pretend to have in order to get attention and affection. I generally don’t talk about my depression because nobody gives a shit. How many times does a depressed person have to ask for help (only to get blown off or told “it gets better” by someone) before they finally say “fuck this shit” and off themselves? Others want depressed people to stop talking about depression and/or simply go away. “You’re always such a downer, man. No wonder nobody ever wants to hang out with you.”
No one gives a shit. They just want me to take a pill and stop being such a bummer all the time. So I just quietly deal with being in a perpetual state of “meh” because that’s the hand I got dealt in life. Whee.
That is, until I see shit like “you are not alone” or “it gets better”. Don’t make me smack you.
There are services out there, run by volunteers, who are willing and waiting to hear from you. Please try Seven Cups of Tea, I have heard very good things about them. If they, like the other services you say don’t help, refuse to help you because of being trans, then please let me know and I will stop recommending them.